GOOOOOOOAAAAAAL!

Here is where I lay out six excellent, ethnically diverse reasons you should be watching the World Cup.

1.) Gerard Pique of Spain

Si, por favor.

2.) and 3.) Didier Drogba of Ivory Coast and Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal

Lest you think I’m being unpatriotic and neglecting our American stars, I give you

4.) Carlos Bocanegra

Poor thing's in need of a tongue bath hot shower.

And 5.) Oguchi “Gooch” Onyewu

God. Bless. America.

And lastly, before you wipe the drool from your keyboard, girls (and gay boys), I give you someone who sadly is sitting out this World Cup due to an ill-timed ankle injury, but without whom no Hot Soccer Boyz photo collection would be complete.

6.) Michael Ballack of Germany

I wonder how one says “Belts of Apollo” in German.

Meanwhile, here's North Korea...training?

I promise not all of my blog posts will be this shallow.